Wife was in the ICU

The husband was unable to control his tears.
Doctor: We are trying our best, but can't guarantee anything. Her body is not reacting. It seems she is in a coma.
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Husband: Doctor please save her. She is just 30 years old and the family needs her.
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Suddenly, something happened. Miraculously, the ECG started beeping like crazy. A hand moved, her lips mumbled.
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And she spoke:
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Darling, I'm 29 years 360 days old... not 30.

BIRTHDAY GAME


Add your birthday date & know
about yourself.
For ex: 19.06.1985
1+9+0+6+1+9+8+5 -- =39;
3+9=12;
1+2=3
If you get
1 = your love is true
2 = your family is good
3 = your voice is sweet
4 = your life is going great
5 = your lover is deeply in love with you
6 = Partly
talented person
7 = intelligent
8 = born to win
9 = confused person..!

I want a divorce

A wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

‘You disrespectful pig!’ she cried. ‘How dare you do this to me – a faithful wife, the mother of your children? I’m leaving you. I want a divorce!’

And Paddy (for it was he) replied, ‘Hang on just a minute, love, so at least I can tell you what happened.’

‘Fine, go ahead,’ she sobbed, ‘but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!’

And Paddy began – ‘Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight.

The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t use because I don’t have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t use because someone at work has the same pair.’

Here Paddy took a quick breath and continued – ‘She was very grateful for my understanding and help, and as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, ‘Please… Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?’

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